Contact: [email protected] <---new link
Punny joke :)
Q: What do you call a woman who works as hard as a man?
A: Lazy.
A: Lazy.
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, the homeless give it back
Guy in a library walks up to the librarian and says, “I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.”
Librarian responds, “Sir, you know you’re in a library, right?”
Guy says, “Oh, sorry. [in a whisper] I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.”
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
Why could you not hear a Pterodactyl (tare-o-dact-til) go to the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent.
How does a train eat?
It goes "chew chew"
A magician was driving down the street.
Then he TURNED IN TO a driveway.
Tried to take a picture of some fog.
mist.
A buddy and I were golfing one afternoon and getting somewhat bored with the round; so when we came upon the water hazard with two ducks sitting quietly on the water, I bet him ten bucks he couldn't hit a duck and five dollars he couldn't even get one to move. Being a guy, he took the bet.
He launched four tee shots toward the ducks, and even threw two by hand, and the ducks still wouldn't budge.
Only after he lost six golf balls did he realize the ducks were decoys
s
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot.
He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.
Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last!
As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!"
"Don't worry." said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"
I know 10 facts about you:
Fact 1: You are reading this.
Fact 2: You can't say the letter 'm' without touching your lips.
Fact 3: You just tried it.
Fact 4: You're smiling.
Fact 6: You're smiling or laughing again.
Fact 7: You didn't notice I missed fact 5.
Fact 8: You just checked it.
Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart. So everybody takes a big whiff.
COMMON SENSE:
how do you put a elephant in a fridge?
open the door a put him in.
Noah was asked to build another ark and he was supposed to put two of every animal on it.what animal couldn't he have put on?
The elephant, he was still in the fridge.
Guy in a library walks up to the librarian and says, “I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.”
Librarian responds, “Sir, you know you’re in a library, right?”
Guy says, “Oh, sorry. [in a whisper] I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.”
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
Why could you not hear a Pterodactyl (tare-o-dact-til) go to the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent.
How does a train eat?
It goes "chew chew"
A magician was driving down the street.
Then he TURNED IN TO a driveway.
Tried to take a picture of some fog.
mist.
A buddy and I were golfing one afternoon and getting somewhat bored with the round; so when we came upon the water hazard with two ducks sitting quietly on the water, I bet him ten bucks he couldn't hit a duck and five dollars he couldn't even get one to move. Being a guy, he took the bet.
He launched four tee shots toward the ducks, and even threw two by hand, and the ducks still wouldn't budge.
Only after he lost six golf balls did he realize the ducks were decoys
s
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot.
He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.
Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last!
As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!"
"Don't worry." said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"
I know 10 facts about you:
Fact 1: You are reading this.
Fact 2: You can't say the letter 'm' without touching your lips.
Fact 3: You just tried it.
Fact 4: You're smiling.
Fact 6: You're smiling or laughing again.
Fact 7: You didn't notice I missed fact 5.
Fact 8: You just checked it.
Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart. So everybody takes a big whiff.
COMMON SENSE:
how do you put a elephant in a fridge?
open the door a put him in.
Noah was asked to build another ark and he was supposed to put two of every animal on it.what animal couldn't he have put on?
The elephant, he was still in the fridge.